valentine's day

Well, something big has happened since my last blog post.
I got a job! A real, big kid job. I got to work from 9-5, pretty much Monday through Friday. And it's almost like a graphic design job. I'm doing some designing, but mostly typesetting at a Print Shop in town. We make copies and trophies and awards. I'm still learning the ins and outs of it all, but it's interesting.
Still working on designing for the girls conference this spring. We are almost done with that. I can't wait for that to get here. I think a lot of junior high and high school girls are going to get rocked by it.
Recently, I made my mom a logo for her photography company. She's a pretty accomplished lifestyle photographer. I get to be her assistant sometimes. Basically, she has recreated her image. She just got a new website. She takes pictures of babies, seniors, children, families, and couples. Pretty much, she does it all. Go check it out: Sycamore Grove Photography.

This morning in my devotion I was reading Hebrews 13. I got to verse 8,

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."

And that just made my heart so happy to have that reassurance. Because Jesus will never ever change. He was at the beginning of time and He is right now and He will be forever. And nothing about His character will ever be different. He is just as patient and kind as He was then. That is incredible to me. Forever I will trust in the fact that He won't change on me, no matter how often I change.

I'll leave you with some iPhone pictures from my week.

1] I'm never up before the sun, but I had an appointment in Evansville last week and happened to see this fantastic sunrise, and I was reminded of God's beauty and majesty.
2] my awesome friend Allyson sent me these mustaches that attach to your bottles while you are drinking to make it look like you have a mustache, hehe
3] my dad delivered flowers to me at work on valentine's day
4] my sweet Hallee Jae is the only valentine I need, who is now 9 months old
5] I love cheesy valentines, like this Harry Potter one I found online
6] a close up of my pretty flowers

living life

Recently, I have been just here.
Working on a little project for a girls conference at the church. I'm pretty much in charge of all the graphics that we'll be producing for it. I've been working with the youth leaders pretty closely.
For the month of February, I will be teaching the junior high Sunday School class at church. This past week was my first week and it was pretty interesting. I had to bring out my authoritative voice, and I didn't even know I had one. Other than that, I think it went pretty well. I remember being in junior high — it was awkward, weird, and so was I, which will help me relate to them.
I have been looking for a job, but alas, I still have no job.
Contemplating a trip to Florida to see my snowbird grandparents sometime this month.
Recently, I've had a lot of really good time in the Word. Most of my time has been spent in Hebrews. Focusing on Jesus being the ultimate sacrifice and the new Most High Priest. Thank goodness Jesus came to be the last and final blood sacrifice so we no longer have to make a yearly sacrifice. Jesus died once and for all, and He is now seated at the right hand of the Father interceding on our behalf day and night. How great is that?

"The former priests were many in number, because they were prevented by death from continuing in office, but he holds his priesthood permanently because he continues forever. Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.
For it was indeed fitting that we should have such a high priest, holy, innocent, unstained, separated from sinners, and exalted above the heavens. He has no need, like those high priests to offer sacrifices daily, first for his own sins and then for those of the people, since he did this once for all when he offered up himself."
Hebrews 7:26-27



A few pictures from December until now.

1) watching fireworks with some of my favorite girls at church
2) still getting matching sweatshirts, even though we are getting old
3) remembering my sweet great-grandmother AnnaBelle who recently passed
4) girls night at the Ellis' house usually means Coca Cola in glass bottles
5) I've been listening to some pretty good music on my new record player I got for Christmas
6) my baby niece Hallee Jae getting so stinkin' big
7) Brody sitting in the snow, rather than going into the barn where it is warm
8) reading glasses, because I've had a lot of time to do just that — read

the unknown

do you ever feel like your drowning? literally sinking into a bottomless pit of despair. trying to grasp and reach for air but every attempt is for nothing because you slip further and further into the nothingness that is wrapping you up.

that's where I am at right now. drowning the unknown of my future, the unknown of everything.

here I am, roughly seven months since I graduated college and still without a job of any kind. still uncertain of what I am going to do with this degree I worked so hard to get.

here I am, longing to be in Ukraine. in a place where I can't understand 99% of the people I encountered due to the language barrier, but they loved me regardless. in a place where I felt Jesus moving.

where does God want me? where would my 'talents' be best used? if you could call them that. at this point in time, I look at what other graphic designers are doing and I look at my work, and then think that I will never be good enough to work anywhere as a graphic designer.

all I know is that I have to surrender everything I know and everything I am to Jesus. because the only way to be rescued from the drowning mess is when Jesus reaches down and pulls me out. and when I refuse to let myself be not 'good enough.' but I've been seeking for quite some time and I still don't know where I'm supposed to be or where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to be doing. I must need a lesson in listening.



Psalm 143
A psalm of David

Lord, hear my prayer,
listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness
come to my relief.
Do not bring your servant into judgment,
for no one living is righteous before you.
The enemy pursues me,
he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in the darkness
like those long dead.
So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed.
I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done.
I spread out my hands to you;
I thirst for you like a parched land.

Answer me quickly, Lord;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life.
Rescue me from my enemies, Lord,
for I hide myself in you.
Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground.

For your name's sake, Lord, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.