living life

Recently, I have been just here.
Working on a little project for a girls conference at the church. I'm pretty much in charge of all the graphics that we'll be producing for it. I've been working with the youth leaders pretty closely.
For the month of February, I will be teaching the junior high Sunday School class at church. This past week was my first week and it was pretty interesting. I had to bring out my authoritative voice, and I didn't even know I had one. Other than that, I think it went pretty well. I remember being in junior high — it was awkward, weird, and so was I, which will help me relate to them.
I have been looking for a job, but alas, I still have no job.
Contemplating a trip to Florida to see my snowbird grandparents sometime this month.
Recently, I've had a lot of really good time in the Word. Most of my time has been spent in Hebrews. Focusing on Jesus being the ultimate sacrifice and the new Most High Priest. Thank goodness Jesus came to be the last and final blood sacrifice so we no longer have to make a yearly sacrifice. Jesus died once and for all, and He is now seated at the right hand of the Father interceding on our behalf day and night. How great is that?

"The former priests were many in number, because they were prevented by death from continuing in office, but he holds his priesthood permanently because he continues forever. Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.
For it was indeed fitting that we should have such a high priest, holy, innocent, unstained, separated from sinners, and exalted above the heavens. He has no need, like those high priests to offer sacrifices daily, first for his own sins and then for those of the people, since he did this once for all when he offered up himself."
Hebrews 7:26-27



A few pictures from December until now.

1) watching fireworks with some of my favorite girls at church
2) still getting matching sweatshirts, even though we are getting old
3) remembering my sweet great-grandmother AnnaBelle who recently passed
4) girls night at the Ellis' house usually means Coca Cola in glass bottles
5) I've been listening to some pretty good music on my new record player I got for Christmas
6) my baby niece Hallee Jae getting so stinkin' big
7) Brody sitting in the snow, rather than going into the barn where it is warm
8) reading glasses, because I've had a lot of time to do just that — read

the unknown

do you ever feel like your drowning? literally sinking into a bottomless pit of despair. trying to grasp and reach for air but every attempt is for nothing because you slip further and further into the nothingness that is wrapping you up.

that's where I am at right now. drowning the unknown of my future, the unknown of everything.

here I am, roughly seven months since I graduated college and still without a job of any kind. still uncertain of what I am going to do with this degree I worked so hard to get.

here I am, longing to be in Ukraine. in a place where I can't understand 99% of the people I encountered due to the language barrier, but they loved me regardless. in a place where I felt Jesus moving.

where does God want me? where would my 'talents' be best used? if you could call them that. at this point in time, I look at what other graphic designers are doing and I look at my work, and then think that I will never be good enough to work anywhere as a graphic designer.

all I know is that I have to surrender everything I know and everything I am to Jesus. because the only way to be rescued from the drowning mess is when Jesus reaches down and pulls me out. and when I refuse to let myself be not 'good enough.' but I've been seeking for quite some time and I still don't know where I'm supposed to be or where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to be doing. I must need a lesson in listening.



Psalm 143
A psalm of David

Lord, hear my prayer,
listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness
come to my relief.
Do not bring your servant into judgment,
for no one living is righteous before you.
The enemy pursues me,
he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in the darkness
like those long dead.
So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed.
I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done.
I spread out my hands to you;
I thirst for you like a parched land.

Answer me quickly, Lord;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life.
Rescue me from my enemies, Lord,
for I hide myself in you.
Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground.

For your name's sake, Lord, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.

the most wonderful time of the year

It's starting to be that time of the year. You know: CHRISTmas! We have successfully put up all our decor in the Whitlock household, and it is very merry & bright. And being an unemployed college graduate, I am still helping Miss Jodi Duncan when she needs me. Which has transitioned beautifully from weddings into decorating homes and businesses for the Christmas season. She is just as busy in this time of year as she is in the summer/fall with all her weddings. I am so thankful that she likes to have me around and that she likes to have my help. So even though I don't have a real job right this very moment, I do have a little bit of money available to me. 

Working on the balcony with Glo in Chandler, IN

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

welcome to Christmas-land at a home in Harrisburg

Christmas at Marion Mackies

Christmas wreath chandeliers at Marion Mackies

Christmas is also just one of my favorite times of the year in general. I love getting to spend time with my family. When the weather is cold, it's my favorite because I get to wear big bulky sweaters and chunky scarves. Speaking of sweaters & scarves, I would like to get some new ones soon. A shopping day is in my near future, probably after Christmas presents and Christmas are over. This will be my niece Hallee Jae's first Christmas which is super duper exciting. I can't wait to celebrate and do all kinds of fun stuff with her. I know she won't remember most of it, but that's beside the point. 

Hallee Jae waving to Aunt E