closing time

and so begins the last full week of classes before finals begin. i'm excited and sad all at the same time.

i'm so ready to be done with classes and move into my major (art) classes next fall, but i'm really sad because a ton of seniors are graduating and leaving (jennifer, alex, jamie, matt, guy, austin, phil, steve, etc.) and my dear friend hannah and possible carley and cody are transferring schools. i'll still have a lot of friends around, but it won't be exactly the same without them.

exactly 19 days until graduation, which is also my birthday. i'll be 20, no longer a teenager. i'm going to have to do something for my last teenage angst, haha. probably just get another piercing in my ear.

the day after my birthday i'll be driving with my friends becca and allyson to becca's home in dallas, tx. and spending about five days there. i'm getting a plane ticket home for my birthday. i'm pretty darn excited to get to hang out with these girls. they are two of my bestest friends here on campus. we'll be spending time in dallas and in abilene. and then i'll fly to st. louis from dallas on the 14th or possibly the 15th. i can't wait!!

saturday night was the scf banquet here in evansville. it was a gathering of current students, alumni, parents, and board of directors. we had some worship, some stories about God's work on campus, some scripture reading, and fantastic food. i read acts 17:24-28, which has been a scripture that has played a big role in my life these past few months, when i've been trying to decide what i should do with my life. it was a good time to get together and encourage others through what God has been doing. i'm so glad i have been a part of such an awesome group of friends that have continued to build me up and help me through all my hard times. God has truly blessed me in more ways than i can even imagine.

tonight, i'm going on a girls date with kaitlin. we're going to moe's for mexican :)

i'm getting low on meals, so we're eating off campus, so i can conserve some meals

i've also been getting repaid for all the meals i've given to austin & phil, taco bell and wendys are key to this equation, haha

good afternoon world,

it's nice to make your acquaintance.

i enjoy the beautiful sunshine

and the gently blowing breeze.

the sight of people delighting in the weather

makes my heart happy.

living life with not a care in the world.

i wish that statement were true,

but it's not.

i worry about so much,

which is probably why

my heads pounds daily.

casting my cares to the Lord should be effortless,

but i can't manage to do it.

i feel like the weight of the world is resting on my shoulders,

and all i can do it just carry it.

one day i will learn,

one day i will change,

one day life won't be completely awful.

i'm just tired. i'm tired of being in the same place. i want to get away. i want to explore the world.

i want to have a better relationship with God. i want to grow closer to Him. i want to be pursued by Him daily. i want my life to reflect His love, kindness, joy, hope, etc.

i want to chill out. i want my life to make sense. i want to know what i'm supposed to be doing with my life. i want for everything to work out in an orderly fashion. i want my feelings to subside for one moment and allow me to breath. i want to forget the emotion of anger and always be happy.

i want God to be glorified in all that i do. i want to truly be living my life for Him. i want to please Him and live in His plan as opposed to living in mine.

i don't want to try to be perfect. i want to be me.

april days

April has arrived, yay!

Just a few weeks of classes left and then its time for finals.

Rock-climbing this weekend.

Sunset concert, SCF banquet the next weekend.

And AWESOME DAY, Ruth's House yard sale the weekend after that.

And then finals begin.

And then graduation/my birthday/Ame's promenade.

Wow, it doesn't seem like much, but I'm definitely looking forward to all these things.